Feeling fearful and anxious? Discover 3 ways to overcome fear and anxiety, based on expert advice.
Anxiety vs. Fear
What is the difference?
Fear is a reaction to real threats, triggering bodily and mental responses. Anxiety stems from perceived threats, often triggered by certain cues or situations. - Fear responds to actual danger (e.g., being chased by a dog), while anxiety arises from perceived or imagined threats (e.g., assuming negative opinions in a social situation).
Anxiety, on the other hand, is a feeling that arises due a ‘perceived’ threat.
These threats are not real and are a result of certain triggers. Each time one
of your triggers are pressed, you react in different ways. For example,
walking into a room full of colleagues who suddenly stop talking as you enter,
you may think that they were talking about you, and in most likelihood,
NEGATIVELY!
- Anxiety arises from perceived threats triggered by certain cues, often not based in reality.
- Triggers can evoke varied reactions; for instance, entering a room where colleagues stop talking might lead to thoughts of negative opinions about oneself.
- According to life coach and image consultant Samira Gupta, fear can be a positive emotion as it allows facing challenging situations and overcoming them.
- However, anxiety impacts mental and emotional well-being, causing emotional reactions, overthinking, self-sabotage, and overreacting.
- Samira Gupta recommends three effective methods for overcoming both fear and anxiety, emphasizing the importance of addressing these emotions.
They are:
Acknowledge:
- This is about how to deal with anxiety by identifying and acknowledging your feelings.
-
This suggests the following steps:
- Don’t neglect your own emotions, feelings, and needs.
- Ask yourself what you feel when you face a situation that triggers your anxiety, such as your colleagues talking behind your back.
- Write down your answer on a paper.
- Do this exercise regularly to notice a pattern and understand the message that your anxiety is sending you.
- Work on the areas that need improvement, such as your self-confidence or self-esteem.
- Neglecting personal emotions, feelings, and needs is a common pattern in many individuals.
- The initial step to address anxiety involves identifying and acknowledging the feelings experienced.
- Start by questioning yourself about the emotions triggered by specific situations, such as colleagues potentially talking negatively.
- Listing these identified emotions on paper aids in recognizing recurring patterns.
- Regular practice of this exercise helps in understanding the underlying message conveyed by anxiety.
- For instance, in the given example, it might indicate a need to enhance self-confidence or self-esteem.
Accept: Certainly! Here's the rephrased statement:
- The second step involves accepting the emotion or trigger instead of denying it, as denial doesn't aid in addressing the issue.
This is a very important and challenging step, and I appreciate your interest in it.
- Even if you disagree with the identified emotions, it's crucial to begin working on those areas.
- For instance, if you believe you're confident but notice consistent doubts or self-sabotaging thoughts, focus on enhancing your confidence levels. Seeking assistance from a professional if necessary can be beneficial.
- By working on areas that appear to require improvement, positive changes can gradually become noticeable. If not, continue exploring until you identify and address your patterns effectively. I have some questions for you, if you don’t mind. How do you practice acceptance in your own life? What are some of the benefits and difficulties of accepting your emotions and triggers? How do you seek help from a professional if you need it? I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. 😊
Act:
- Take action by engaging in activities like watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, or seeking guidance from mentors. - Address concerns about colleagues talking behind your back by having a polite yet assertive conversation to clarify misunderstandings. - Recognize that the perceived issue might exist only in your thoughts rather than reality; setting clear boundaries and having open conversations can help. - Samira emphasizes that life is limited by fear and anxiety, advocating for focusing on self-improvement, learning new skills, and embracing diverse experiences for personal and professional growth. This is a very courageous and empowering step, and I admire your interest in it.
I have some questions for you, if you don’t mind. How do you take action in your own life? What are some of the resources and mentors that you use or seek? How do you deal with the challenges and opportunities that arise from your actions? I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. 😊
I can recommend some books on this topic. There are many books that offer helpful insights and strategies for coping with fear and anxiety. Here are some of the most popular and well-reviewed ones:
- Unwinding Anxiety by Judson Brewer. This book explains how anxiety is a habit that can be broken by using mindfulness and neuroscience. The author is a psychiatrist and an expert on addiction and habit change. He offers practical exercises and tools to help readers overcome anxiety and live more fully1.
- The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne. This book is a comprehensive guide that covers various types of anxiety disorders and their causes, symptoms, and treatments. It also provides self-help techniques based on cognitive behavioral therapy, relaxation, exposure, and lifestyle changes. It has been updated to include the latest research and resources2.
- Essential Strategies for Social Anxiety by Jennifer Shannon. This book is designed for people who struggle with social anxiety and shyness. It teaches readers how to challenge their negative thoughts, face their fears, and improve their social skills. It also includes tips for dealing with specific situations, such as public speaking, dating, and work3.
- Unf*ck Your Brain by Faith G. Harper. This book is a humorous and irreverent guide to understanding and managing anxiety, depression, trauma, and other mental health issues. The author is a licensed professional counselor who uses neuroscience, mindfulness, and cognitive behavioral therapy to help readers rewire their brains and feel better4.
- Practicing Mindfulness by Matthew Sockolov. This book is a beginner’s guide to mindfulness meditation, which is a proven technique for reducing stress, anxiety, and negative emotions. It offers 75 simple and effective exercises that can be done anytime and anywhere. It also explains the benefits and challenges of mindfulness, and how to cultivate a regular practice.
Some other books that you might find interesting are:
- Mind Over Mood by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky. This book is a classic workbook that teaches readers how to use cognitive behavioral therapy to change their moods, thoughts, and behaviors. It includes worksheets, charts, and examples to help readers apply the skills to various problems, such as anxiety, depression, anger, and low self-esteem.
- When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön. This book is a collection of teachings by a renowned Buddhist nun who offers wisdom and compassion for coping with fear, uncertainty, and pain. She shows readers how to embrace their difficulties, rather than avoid them, and how to transform their suffering into opportunities for growth and healing.
- What To Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner and Bonnie Matthews. This book is a fun and interactive workbook for children who suffer from anxiety and worry. It uses cognitive behavioral therapy principles to help children understand and manage their worries, and to develop positive coping skills. It also includes tips for parents and caregivers to support their children.
- Conquer Anxiety Workbook for Teens by Tabatha Chansard. This book is a workbook for teens who want to overcome their anxiety and live more confidently. It covers topics such as social anxiety, test anxiety, perfectionism, and panic attacks. It also provides activities and exercises based on cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and acceptance and commitment therapy.
- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. This book is a creative and inspiring guide for anyone who wants to live a more creative and joyful life. The author of Eat, Pray, Love shares her insights and experiences on how to overcome fear, embrace curiosity, and unleash your inner genius.
- The Opposite of Worry by Lawrence J. Cohen. This book is a practical and playful guide for parents who want to help their children cope with anxiety and stress. It offers strategies and techniques based on play therapy, mindfulness, and positive psychology. It also explains the science behind anxiety and how to foster a strong and supportive relationship with your child.
- Helping Your Anxious Teen by Sheila Achar Josephs. This book is a comprehensive and compassionate guide for parents who want to understand and support their teens who struggle with anxiety. It covers the causes, types, and signs of anxiety, and how to communicate and collaborate with your teen. It also provides effective interventions and coping skills based on cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness.
I hope you find these books helpful and interesting. Let me know if you have any questions or feedback about them. 😊
- Best overall: Unwinding Anxiety
- Best workbook: The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook
- Best for social anxiety: Essential Strategies for Social Anxiety
- Best-selling: Unf*ck Your Brain
- Best for meditation: Practicing Mindfulness
- Best therapist-recommended: Mind Over Mood
- Best for hard times: When Things Fall Apart
- Best for children: What To Do When You Worry Too Much
- Best for teens: Conquer Anxiety Workbook for Teens
- Best for creatives: Big Magic
- Best for parents of young kids: The Opposite of Worry
- Best for parents of teens: Helping Your Anxious Teen
Anxiety is the most common mental health concern in America. It affects at least 18% of U.S. adults, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA).
Anxiety can be a source of strength. Anxious temperament can lead
to better job performance. Rollo May (1953, p390) writes: “The
problem of the management of anxiety is that of reducing anxiety
to normal levels, and then to use this normal anxiety as
stimulation to increase one’s awareness, vigilance, zest for
living.”
Worriers are more likely to be more goal-oriented, more
organized, and self-disciplined (Stossel, 2013). They plan
effectively for unforeseen events and consequences that others may
ignore. They are better at taking care of their health. In short,
anxiety is productive when it is not excessive. In fact, the goal
of therapy is to reduce anxiety, not eliminate it.":
-
Anxiety can help you succeed. People who are anxious tend to
perform better at work. Rollo May (1953, p390) said: “The
challenge of anxiety is to lower it to normal levels, and then
to use this normal anxiety as motivation to enhance one’s
awareness, alertness, and passion for life.”
Worriers are more likely to have clear goals, be organized, and
be self-disciplined (Stossel, 2013). They prepare well for
unexpected events and outcomes that others may overlook. They are
better at taking care of their health. In short, anxiety is
beneficial when it is not too much. In fact, the aim of therapy is
to reduce anxiety, not get rid of it."
-
Anxiety can be an advantage. Anxious people often do better at
their jobs. Rollo May (1953, p390) wrote: “The task of anxiety
is to bring it down to normal levels, and then to use this
normal anxiety as inspiration to boost one’s awareness,
attentiveness, and enthusiasm for life.
Worriers are more likely to be goal-driven, organized, and
self-disciplined (Stossel, 2013). They plan wisely for unforeseen
events and consequences that others may neglect. They are better
at taking care of their health. In short, anxiety is useful when
it is not too high. In fact, the purpose of therapy is to reduce
anxiety, not eliminate it.
Some other benefits of anxiety are:
-
Anxiety can help you prepare for the future. Anxiety can
make you think about possible scenarios and outcomes, and
plan accordingly. This can help you avoid or minimize
risks, and be ready for any challenges or opportunities
that may arise.
For example, anxiety can help you study for an exam,
pack for a trip, or save for an emergency.
-
Anxiety can help you empathize with others. Anxiety can
make you more sensitive and aware of other people’s
emotions and needs. This can help you build stronger and
deeper relationships, and be more compassionate and
supportive.
For example, anxiety can help you understand how
someone else feels, offer them comfort, or share your
own experiences.
-
Anxiety can help you appreciate the present. Anxiety can
make you realize how precious and fragile life is, and how
important it is to enjoy the moment. This can help you be
more grateful and mindful, and savor the positive aspects
of your life.
For example, anxiety can help you appreciate your
health, your loved ones, or your achievements.
Some other benefits of anxiety are:
- Anxiety can help you prepare for the future. Anxiety can make you think about possible scenarios and outcomes, and plan accordingly. This can help you avoid or minimize risks, and be ready for any challenges or opportunities that may arise. For example, anxiety can help you study for an exam, pack for a trip, or save for an emergency.
- Anxiety can help you empathize with others. Anxiety can make you more sensitive and aware of other people’s emotions and needs. This can help you build stronger and deeper relationships, and be more compassionate and supportive. For example, anxiety can help you understand how someone else feels, offer them comfort, or share your own experiences.
- Anxiety can help you appreciate the present. Anxiety can make you realize how precious and fragile life is, and how important it is to enjoy the moment. This can help you be more grateful and mindful, and savor the positive aspects of your life. For example, anxiety can help you appreciate your health, your loved ones, or your achievements.
There’s a difference between feeling anxious and having an anxiety disorder, although some symptoms can overlap. Some common anxiety disorders include:
Plus, some conditions used to be categorized as anxiety disorders but are now considered separate conditions, including:
When to see a doctor about your anxiety
Anxiety exists on a spectrum. While the books in this list are excellent, some people may find that they need additional support to manage symptoms.
If anxiety is significantly affecting your quality of life, consider reaching out to a professional you trust to co-create the best treatment plan for you.
Sure, I can recommend some apps for coping with anxiety. There
are many apps that offer different features and benefits to
help you cope with anxiety, such as meditation, relaxation,
mood tracking, sleep, motivation, and more. Some of the apps
that are rated highly or recommended by different sources are:
-
Calm. This app is one of the best apps for
meditation, which is a proven technique for reducing stress,
anxiety, and negative emotions. It offers guided
meditations, soothing music, sleep stories, breathing
exercises, and more. It also has a daily calm feature that provides a new
meditation every day.
-
Colorfy. This app is one of the best apps for
adult coloring, which is a fun and creative way to relax and
distract yourself from anxious thoughts. It offers hundreds of
coloring pages, including mandalas, animals, flowers, and
patterns.
You can also create your own drawings and share them with
others.
-
What’s Up? A Mental Health App. This app is
one of the best apps for mood tracking, which can help you
monitor your emotions and identify patterns and triggers.
It also provides tools based on cognitive behavioral
therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy, such as
positive and negative habit trackers, coping strategies, and
grounding techniques.
-
Nature Sounds Relax and Sleep. This app is
one of the best apps for sleep, which is essential for your
mental and physical health. It offers a variety of soothing
sounds, such as rain, ocean, forest, and birds.
You can mix and match the sounds, adjust the volume, and
set a timer to fall asleep easily.
-
Shine. This app is one of the best meditation
apps for People of Color, which is a group that often faces
higher levels of stress and anxiety due to systemic racism and
discrimination. It offers daily affirmations, guided
meditations, and podcasts that are tailored to the needs and
experiences of People of Color.
It also has a supportive community where you can connect
with others.
-
Breathwrk. This app is one of the best apps
for breathing techniques, which can help you calm your nervous
system and reduce anxiety. It offers guided breathing
exercises for different purposes, such as energizing,
relaxing, focusing, and sleeping.
It also tracks your progress and gives you feedback.
These are some of the apps that I think might help you with your
anxiety. Of course, there are many other apps that you can
explore and try.
. I hope you find these apps useful and interesting. Thank you
for reading 😊
Sure, I can recommend some apps for coping with anxiety. There are many apps that offer different features and benefits to help you cope with anxiety, such as meditation, relaxation, mood tracking, sleep, motivation, and more. Some of the apps that are rated highly or recommended by different sources are:
- Calm. This app is one of the best apps for meditation, which is a proven technique for reducing stress, anxiety, and negative emotions. It offers guided meditations, soothing music, sleep stories, breathing exercises, and more. It also has a daily calm feature that provides a new meditation every day.
- Colorfy. This app is one of the best apps for adult coloring, which is a fun and creative way to relax and distract yourself from anxious thoughts. It offers hundreds of coloring pages, including mandalas, animals, flowers, and patterns. You can also create your own drawings and share them with others.
- What’s Up? A Mental Health App. This app is one of the best apps for mood tracking, which can help you monitor your emotions and identify patterns and triggers. It also provides tools based on cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy, such as positive and negative habit trackers, coping strategies, and grounding techniques.
- Nature Sounds Relax and Sleep. This app is one of the best apps for sleep, which is essential for your mental and physical health. It offers a variety of soothing sounds, such as rain, ocean, forest, and birds. You can mix and match the sounds, adjust the volume, and set a timer to fall asleep easily.
- Shine. This app is one of the best meditation apps for People of Color, which is a group that often faces higher levels of stress and anxiety due to systemic racism and discrimination. It offers daily affirmations, guided meditations, and podcasts that are tailored to the needs and experiences of People of Color. It also has a supportive community where you can connect with others.
- Breathwrk. This app is one of the best apps for breathing techniques, which can help you calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety. It offers guided breathing exercises for different purposes, such as energizing, relaxing, focusing, and sleeping. It also tracks your progress and gives you feedback.
These are some of the apps that I think might help you with your anxiety. Of course, there are many other apps that you can explore and try. . I hope you find these apps useful and interesting. Thank you for reading 😊
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